Loss of my soulmate of 52 years

[colin]

My Darling Patricia past away 9/4/16,The loss has broken my heart and I feel that my life is not worth carrying on I cry daily and find it hard to accept that she not by my side,we did everything together and was never apart for very long,we shared our lives for 52 happy years,hurting so much without her.
                                                  Col.

[Norma]

(((Hugs))) Colin my hear goes out to you, i can guess how youre feeling id been with my hubby roughly the same amount of time, but its early days for you Colin you need to take baby steps, and look after yourself, I promise you it will get easier, please keep talking to us on here im sure you will find it helps xxx

 

[colin]

Hi Norma, Thanks for your kind words and support,I hurt so much even my Son says it dont seem real the empty feelings and pain.just dont go away.
Ive tried Macmillan support but this didnt work that well,but Iam grateful that they offered support.My darling had such a bad experiance in the Hospital that we had her home in our care to make sure she would get the love and devotion from us that she deserved,she was and still is my one true love from 17yrs of age,she will always be in my thoughts and in my heart till we meet again,we will then be happy once more in each others arms.

[Norma]

Our children can only understand our pain to a certain extent, but would we really want them  to hurt like we do, its differant. It does take time and there are several stages of grief we have to cope with, i hope you can find some  comfort from this group xx

 

[sue smith]

Hello Colin,  seems strange to type that as it's the first time I have used those words since my Colin died in 2010.    We were married for 42 years  and the pain of losing him was just enormous.  However I am more than 5 years along in my journey now and I can tell you that it will get easier to cope.  You will never stop missing your wife,  I say this all the time but it is true,  however many days pass I still miss him all the time.  But I have a life again and I cope with it all,  have down days of course but generally I am OK.  You will be as well,  take things slowly and look after yourself,  one day it will feel easier x

[longedge]

Hello Colin. There are one or two currentlyu active members who seem to be in the same situation as you and I. Chris and I first got together when we were 17 and married at 21. She died 3 days before our 47th anniversary last October. The last few years, the amount of time we spent apart from one another was no more than a few hours altogether. It's an awful gut wrenching feeling when you realise you won't see one another again (in this life at least). The way I manage to keep going is to set myself targets and things to anticipate. My next one is a visit to the dentist on Monday to get a temp crown so they aren't always good 

[Hubby]

Hi Colin welcome to the forum sorry to hear of your sad loss.

I lost my wife of 32 years on 19th March. The feelings you describe are exactly as I feel. It has eased slightly but I still cry daily and ,like you, often feel that life isn't worth living and there is no point to anything I have ever done or ever will do. Even at this early stage I have noticed that things are getting slowly easier in as much as the time between crying is getting longer and some times are actually bearable but I now know that grief is a long process and acceptance is something that isn't going to happen anytime soon.

Wishing you the strength to cope.

 

[mike59]

Hello Colin  sorry for your Loss,I to was married to My lovely Wife gail for 38 Lovely years we were inseparable we did Every thing together,once I became disabled over 25 years ago we were never apart,Until Febuary 28th 2016 when she Passed ( Lung Cancer) she was Diagnosed in December and Given 6 mothns to live  so it was a Total shock, its the hardest thing I think any of us have to Cope or try to Cope with Hang in there Colin this is a Wonderful site we are all Here for you To Chat leave messages or just to read of all our Lifes and how they are ...hang in there Colin....

                                                                                                                           



                                                                   

[colin]

Hi to everyone,
       Thank you all for your kind words and support in this dark side of my life.I hear what you all say,it's nice to know Iam not alone.
        To-day is a better day but the pain will always be with me.One day I will be at peace and back in the arms of my Darling Pat,till then Iwill try to continue with life the best I can.Once again thank you all.
                                                                          Colin.

[colin]

Hi Sue,thanks for your kind words of support,the pain I feel in my heart cannot be explained.My darling Pat was diagnosed with a benign lung tumour ,she had major surgery over 3yrs ago and we was told that everything was o/k.But over time the cancer spread into her brain,again she was so brave and underwent brain surgery,gamma knife treatmentand finally whole head radio therapy.After the whole head treatment she had 2/3 good weeks,but after 7 weeks she was admitted to Q.M.C.after losing the use of her legs and speech she passed away 1 week later at home,after recieving terrible treatment whilst in hospital we insisted that we could look after her better at home which we did.What hurts me most of all is the fact that she could not tell me how much she loved me all she could do was stroke my beard just before she passed away.I miss her so much the pain is unbearable,I cry every day,kiss her photo all the time,I have her back home to be with me.Sorry if Ive gone on a bit,but it does help to tell others my sad story.Once again Sue many thanks for listening

[sue smith]

Colin,  I don't think it matters that your dear wife couldn't speak,  what matters is the time you had together before this.  She knew how you felt about her and you know how she felt, that is all that matters.  All you need to remember is that you did the very best you could for her right up to the last moment and that was the important thing.  I hope as time goes on you will start to remember good times and be able to smile at her memory.  It takes a while I'm afraid but it does happen,  one day you will feel lighter and have better thoughts.   Just be patient, take things slowly and stay here talking to us x

[colin]

Hi Sue,Many thanks for your kind words of support and understanding.I've had 2 very bad days and nights just can't get over the loss of Pat,my world is empty without her,Iknow I'am clutching at straws and know she can't return to me,but she will remain in my heart and thoughts forever,all the good times we had will be with me always and the memories stay in my heart.I'am sure that one day we will be together again in a happy place once more,I firmly believe in life after death,so we will meet again and share our deep love for each other.Ihope that other users share the same views.
                                                                                       Best Wishes always
                                                                                                   Colin.

[Soleil]

Hi Colin,

Very sorry that you have lost your beloved soulmate. Words are inadequate to express the grief you must feel. Please come here for support - we have all loved and lost someone. 

[colin]

Hi Everyone,
        I hav'nt  been on site for a while,the grief and crying for my lover Pat,as been overwhelming and I just keep going over everything that she went through and still blame myself for not doing more to save my Darling.Still find things hard to cope with on my own,we should have been together forever,we tried to keep ourselves fit by walking 8/12 miles hikes into the lakes and derbyshire peak district on a weekly basis,this gave us more strength to our endless love and quality times together.She remains in my heart and thoughts always and I Will always miss her till we are as one again.Sweetdreams my Darling till we meet again.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx love you always and forever.
                                                                                                                                                                        Col.

[Julie Magson]

Hello Colin- I wondered how you were.
I think we lost our loves round about the same time and I've had a real dip too, I wonder if this is another one of those 'normal' stages that this horrible existence is throwing at us. Hope you have the strength/desire to keep posting.