I think I get what you are saying Karen and I fully agree. There is no traditional cure for what many of us are suffering from, and indeed few so called experts actually have not experienced the loss of a husband or wife. The Cruse councillor I saw just one time had not lost her partner, because I asked her, which surprised me a little.
I think there are two important words that people who are grieving have to come to terms with, "Acknowledgement" and "Acceptance" because it can take a while just to fully acknowledge what's happened, which is then followed later by accepting what's happened. I think I have almost reached that accepting stage, though occasionally one will still have moments where your back at square one some days, or it feels like that, albeit only temporary.
It is tough, there's no doubt about that, I can think of nothing worse happen in my life that I and many others here have had to face, having lost their husband, wife or anyone very close. The change afterwards in your life is dramatic, and it can very difficult indeed to try and focus on anything, but to move forwards we somehow do need to build a life out of what remains, and how we do that will vary as we all cope differently.
I have no intention or desire to erase from my mind the brilliant 49yrs I had with my wife Ann, those will always remain with me till I die, but we can take all those great times with us, so eventually we view those many years not sadly but as something very good and positive, indeed we may even say we were very lucky indeed to have known love and been blessed with all those good times and great memories. I hope eventually in whatever time I have left to take those fond memories forwards with me whatever the future holds, but we have to acknowledge and accept and somehow focus on what we have now, or there is no future, we remain where we are, and we all know how sad and heart breaking that can be.
So no, there is NO cure, but we can learn to cope with our grief, we can choose to never go out, not see anyone, or we can force ourselves to open that door and reach out, embrace what's out there and speak to people and make a new life whatever that may be. Posting here is a good start on that path, but that path also leads to many other things too, but it won't happen by itself. I certainly think it's better than the alternative.
So what will you be doing in 1 or 2 years time?
Me? well, I don't know about next year, but in the morning I head for Preston, then a night at Lancaster, and then a drive over to Leeds on Saturday to meet some very nice people from this forum which I'm looking forwards to, and then I leave Leeds Sunday morning for Inverness. The alternative....well ? that wouldn't have been nowhere near as pleasant that I can assure you. Next week up Scotland will be a little lonely, but I'm trying... I'll let you know how it went when I get back. Sorry for Rambling on, but that's the last for 10days..lol
Hope your next 9 days are all good one's, and I hope mine are too. You ALL take care..
