Thanks again for the replies.
This grief has turned everything on its head. I'm in a strange place where crying actually makes me feel happy and feeling happy makes me want to cry. Remembering things makes me sad but forgetting them makes me even sadder.
Today has been s good day. I did work, went to the doctors (He'd stopped me doing night work for another month) and did more painting at home with just a few sad moments and no crying at all. I should be pleased but, in this upside down world, I'm worried that it won't last and wondering what new surprises grief has in store for me next.
I'm still forgetting things so I made a list of things I need to do as recommended when I mentioned it on here. I dealt with a few things today and, when I went to cross them off the list, they weren't on it??? I guess my memory is even worse than I thought.
Hope your all doing well.