Thanks for the replies.
I've got some of my favourite pictures on a memory stick for one of my digital photo frames but I can't bring myself to set it up just yet. Having lots of pictures of Margaret displaying on a slideshow would be too much at this stage. It does seem to take time to get the strength together to face some things. Like looking through my memory box.
The problem I am having is that I found Margaret had been keeping some financial problems she had been having from me. They could have easily been sorted but for some reason she kept the burden to herself.
I thought we had a relationship with no secrets and absolute trust, I certainly had no secrets from her, and it has forced me to rethink the whole relationship. I cannot grieve properly till I know why she couldn't come to me with the problem and the only way to find that out would be to ask her which is, of course, impossible.
I think I know why but there are so many unanswered questions I cannot help running through multiple scenarios some of them not very pleasant at all. I don't think I will ever know the truth and that really, really hurts.
As for today nothing to report. I've been laid up in bed all day with an awful cold (it might even be ... MAN FLU!). My daughter has been looking after me with cups of tea and hot toddies and most of the time between I have been asleep. I'm hoping to be well enough tomorrow to drag myself into work. I've had enough sick time off this year.
Take care everyone.