Dad gone

[Didi63]

 

Dad passed away only last night. He was late stages of dementia and hadn't known us for years.
My brother and I were there until the end and I find comfort in that.
Whilst I slept well last night, I feel numb today and eventually went for a drive to a local garden centre. Managed to have lunch.
Grief is such a funny thing really, I'm feeling differently for my loss of dad, to how I felt when mum passed away 11 years ago and then my first grandson, who died of cot death.
When mum passed away, I felt she was with me but I don't feel like dad is.
I feel so very lonely, even though both my lads (21 & 33) live with me. Before Christmas I was going to join a group such as WI however, never have.
So I'm here in the hope for support and friendship.

[Karena]

  I think each grief is different ,and that's not something we really expect.But also at this very early stage there is often a reaction of shock even when it is expected,so your reaction can change from day to day.Your dad was not himself for a long time so perhaps that is why you don't feel him with you but it doesn't mean you won't do later on and maybe your dad as you remember him before the dementia took hold.
Meanwhile keep coming back and talking to us.There is a live chat room and often people around in the evenings,and a Facebook page both are more instant replays but too fast for a slow Typer like me so I prefer to stay here.Also its not always just about our grief but there is an everyday chat thread,just to share those things perhaps we would have shared with loved ones.Also sometimes there are mini meet ups around the country .We have found lasting friendships through being here too.

[Emz2014]

I also prefer the forum here, to the Facebook page.  You will see the everyday chat thread in the main section, as you will see we also natter about anything there, everyone's welcome. 
Or feel free to share memories about your dad, you can start a thread like hubby (like a diary), or separate threads if you are struggling with anything and want to talk or just be able to get it down in writing

  xx

[Didi63]

Thank you Karena and Emz2014 for your kind words and information about the chat room. I too am a slow typer but may have a go at a later date.
Earlier on I decided to listen to some relaxing zen music, just closed my eyes and did some breathing exercises. A real chilling out 30 minutes or so. It seems to have worked and shall do it again tomorrow.
My brother is sorting the death certificate and registering the death and then we shall sort the funeral together.
I am so pleased I found this lovely forum.

[Norma]

Welcome Didi, xx

 

[Didi63]

Thank you Norma x

[Hubby]

I think the relaxing time is a really good idea didi. A lot of us forget to take some time out for ourselves.

[Didi63]

Thanks Hubby. Think I'm finding it more difficult because I'm not only between jobs but also on sick and now had a tooth out. I feel like I need to do something to keep my mind occupied but also need to take it easy because of this tooth extraction.

[Emz2014]

Are there any hobbies you like doing which might be suitable to occupy your mind?  Or a chance for some reading, or films? xx

[Didi63]

Actually Emz I have a huge drawer full of beads and jewellery making stuff.
I shall have to have a good rake through it all and start making some jewellery as it is very therapeutic. Thanks Emz.