Hi all, hard to know how to start this but here goes... on Sunday 27th Nov, my mum, aged 64, had a massive heart attack, which triggered a massive stroke. Completely out of the blue and unexpected. She was not at risk, ate well, exercised, didn't smoke, didn't drink much. No pre-existing medical conditions. She is still with us, but since Wednesday morning the advice of four consultants and registrars was that there was nothing that could be done and all that was left was to do whatever possible to make her as comfortable as possible and as such since then the care has been purely palliative and she will not be with us for much longer. She has now had no awake time for over 24 hours and won't again. I already feel bereaved and grieving, but I feel guilty for feeling like this already as she is still here. I have two small boys to think about too (ages 2 & 1) and live 3 hours away from my parents. Juggling the two is currently seeming like an impossibility - wherever I am, I feel guilty for not being in the other place.