George I was really pleased to read this last post from you, it's good things are looking more positive. There will always be the odd occasion when something triggers us off, I'm quite a positive confident guy, or at least that's what my daughter and others tell me and am trying my best to put those dark thoughts I once had right out of my mind and try and accept the fact I'm now a widower and somehow exist on my own.
It's obvious that life as we once knew it will never be the same again, but when I read about people who have lost their husband or wife that had much less time together. It makes me realise and appreciate that my 48yrs with my wife is more time than many people have together, and though that didn't console me very much initially in the early days, however, it does now, and I now feel that I was fortunate to have had those 48yrs. Of course we all would want much longer, but sometimes sadly things don't work out the way we want or indeed expect.
I hope these positive days outnumber the bad one's for you George, I really do my friend, and I sincerely wish that for us all.
Ending on a selfish note, I'm looking forwards to warmer weather so I can get away next year and tick off a few items from my bucket list. I no longer have to concern myself too much about ensuring there is money in place in case anything happens to me. I shall leave enough for my own funeral of course..lol and my kids don't need it except my daughter, who I have ensured will benefit. Other than that I intend next year to do a lot of travelling to places I've always wanted to go, but never had the time, or was concerned it would eat into monies I'd put aside for my wife in case I went first. Having had 4 heart attacks myself over the years my family and I always assumed I would naturally go first, but my own health has improved dramatically over the last 10yrs. So high on my list is a month touring the USA early next year, with hindsight something I wish I'd done a couple years ago but the high cost of medical cover for me put me off doing it, something I very much regret not doing now of course. Things are more in perspective now, we don't get a second chance at living.
