thankyou for kind words. Rosana had been having alcohol problems for the entire 13 years I've lived with her but she managed to stop for periods of time, allowing us to enjoy many things in life, holidays, days out etc...up until around 4 years ago when her intake gradually increased and we spent far less time doing things together and unfortunately I myself like to drink socially and in the evenings so maybe I was not the right person she needed around her these past few years. With my days spent working long hours self-employed Rosana would spend longer on her own and frequently buy large amounts of alcohol from the local supermarket etc.. sadly 2015 was a bad year and she drank so much that in the end her liver just gave in. Following 3 months in hospital where sadly she always remained in a confused state, she sadly passed away on 4th April. Unfortunately the last 6 months of 2015 were not great and I said a few nasty things I deeply regret even though I said sorry at the time. It was done in an attempt to try and make her see how far she had sank and to ask for help, but I fear my actions may have had the opposite effect and just increased her intake. Sadly I will never be able to find out. But coming home to her in a very drunk and sometimes unconscious state for months and years on end was tough, especially with her refusing to seek medical help. But despite all this I miss her terribly and cannot stop thinking about how I could have done things differently, it's so painful and I just feel like bursting into tears at any given moment
