Feeling bereaved already

[Billy]

My older sister has a brain tumour and is terminally ill. My older brother stopped talking to me 2 years ago. My mum is 88. My sister is 58. My brother is 59. I am 53. I feel like my whole family will disappear in a matter of months. I feel alone. My husband is wonderful but I still feel alone I have 3 boys who have all left home. I am tearful all the time but I can't show it to my sister, my mum or my children. I'm so unbelievably sad.

[Soleil]

Hi Billy,

Sorry for everything that seems so bad just now.  Are you going to be the caregiver of your sister. I don't think there is much you can do about your brother who isn't talking to you. True your mother is 88 but hopefully she has good health for now. Not for me to intrude but why would you have a wonderful husband and feel alone. Maybe it's just how you are feeling. Could it be that you should visit your doctor.  Just know that we are here to support you and there is wonderful support. 

[Karena]

  your sisters illness has probably brought it home how fragile life can be and  coupled with your boys leaving,that in itself is life changing as your role changes then too.so the ground under you starts turning to sand and you feel the foundations have gone before they actually have.

Is it just you your brother isn't speaking too in which case would it be an idea to write to him if he won't speak and suggest that whatever your differences are your mum and sister need both of you right now and they don't need to be worrying about you fighting so can you put it aside and show a united front to get through the coming months .If he doesn't respond at least you will have tried.
Why not talk to your husband see what he thinks about the idea maybe he would be able to talk too him more easily than you can.Other than that just take each day as it comes but don't neglect your own health,going to see your Gp might be a good idea,could be something your body is short of right now is creating an underlying depression separate from the events going on.

[Hubby]

Hi Billy.

It really sounds like you are having a difficult time. Wishing you the strength to cope.

 

[antigone]

My older sister has a brain tumour and is terminally ill. My older brother stopped talking to me 2 years ago. My mum is 88. My sister is 58. My brother is 59. I am 53. I feel like my whole family will disappear in a matter of months. I feel alone. My husband is wonderful but I still feel alone I have 3 boys who have all left home. I am tearful all the time but I can't show it to my sister, my mum or my children. I'm so unbelievably sad.

My father was recently diagnosed with cancer and has less than 2 weeks left to live, and I understand how heartbreaking and awful it can be. Where you can, try and focus on good memories and reconnection. Family members I haven't seen for years have recently attempted to reach out. Perhaps you could try to reach out to your brother? Either way, try to focus on what you have rather than what you don't - you have a loving husband and try to remember how important that is <3

[Norma]

Sending massive welcome (((hugs))) xx

 

[sue smith]

I am so sorry you have this hanging over you.  I do know how you feel as I lived with it with my husband.  All I can say to you is please make the most of the time you have,  don't grieve yet but share your lives as long as you can.  You will have plenty of time later for grief xx