Sleep tips

[Emz2014]

Hiya

I was thinking and thought it might be good to have a post of sleep tips so we can find them easily in one place.   Grief has quite an impact on sleep, I know I went through phases of not being able to get to sleep, to waking every night at around 2 and being awake until 4, to trying to sleep as much as i could.  Theres something very lonely about not being able to sleep.  So, here's some tips I am aware of, please add your own tips too if you have some

1) Firstly, try and relax. Getting agitated or worried we can't sleep will fuel the sleeping difficulties. With my early morning waking up phases I would get up, sit on the sofa with a blanket and read before trying to go back to bed.  The phase would often pass after a few days, it sometimes came back after a while, but then would pass again and sleep would return

2) make your sleeping environment comfortable - not too hot or cold, not too light, comfortable bedding, reduce electronics, quiet etc

3)  create a night time routine, your body will learn to prepare for sleep.  Have a bath, do some gentle yoga, dim the lights, reduce using smart phones or tablets a couple of hours before bed, read.  You could try some lavender oil near your pillow, see if that helps (or explore some aromatherapy)

4) try whatever you can to reduce worrying during the day.  Try to occupy your day and get out for some fresh air or write down your worries and take a step, however small, towards resolving a worry.  Worry during the day will impact your sleep that night.  On a previous occasion when I was really distressed I found Bach flower remedies helped me when I had a mind where my thoughts churned round and round relentlessly like a washing machine.  I hadnt expected it to work, i was given some when I was really struggling (with no expectation of it working) and i was amazed to find my mind became more peaceful

5) try a warm milky drink or chamomile tea.  If you dont like chamomile tea you can get mixes which contain chamomile but with different flavours.  Have a little alcohol if you want but not too much - too much can affect your sleep, making you restless or wake during the night.  Reduce your caffeine too

6) dont eat a big meal too close to bedtime.  Its believed some foods promote sleep - give them a try - yogurt, milk, oats, cereal, banana, eggs.  Ive even seen a lettuce sandwich is supposed to help

7) a lack of magnesium and calcium may cause people to wake after a few hours and not return to sleep, try magnesium rich foods incl spinach, bananas, nuts, seeds, fish and wholegrains

Its a hard journey, be gentle with yourselves.  Add any sleep tips you have  xx

[Karena]

Thanks Emz thats interesting about the calcium and magnesium -thats my usual problem these days drop off then wake again.

another hint is think of your brain as a computer, when it shuts down everything is neatly filed away but if something is floating around it cant shut down -so file it.
Either visualise a temporary folder to stick it in, or physically keep a notepad and pen to hand and write it down,that way you can con your brain into thinking everything is saved and filed away and its ok to shutdown.

[Joann]

Thank you for that Emz.

[longedge]

I'd agree with most of that except in my case it's electronics that send me off to sleep every night in the form of my current audio book with the timer set for 30 mins. It's very rare that I actually hear it switch off.

Unfortunately, being of a certain age, I don't sleep more than a couple of hours before I have to go to the loo. I know you girls have a lot to put up with that we boys don't but I think in this case we're more hard done to   

[Spaicer]

That's a really good way of looking at it karena, I shall try that.  

[Emz2014]

I think audio books are a great idea longedge :-).   Its more the electronics like tv, mobile phones and tablets to reduce, the latter due to the type of light they emit

Another thing to try is a mindfulness recording, if you find the right voice that can be really relaxing xx

[Karena]

Yes its screens I think something in the light they give off.funny though I,m sat in front of one all day at work and could quite easily doze off.
Long edge you have my sympathy seems to happen to me when I am camping so spend a longtime trying to put off the inevitable cold trek to the toilet blocks. 

[Hubby]

I have always had difficulty getting to sleep even before losing Margaret. Working night shifts made it even harder.

One thing I found that helped was having a fan on in the bedroom. The hum of it spinning masks out the sounds from the street.

Of course it isn't helping me at present but it might help someone

[Emz2014]

I have thought of another sleep technique, which can be used for insomnia.  You need to think of something really dull, or something you don't find enjoyable, such as polishing the floor, dusting or reading whilst standing up, and if you cannot get to sleep after 20 minutes, get up and do the activity.  Once you feel sleepy, go back to bed again. If after 20 minutes you are still awake, get up and do the same activity again.  And keep repeating
The idea being your mind will start to prefer to sleep than the alternative it doesnt want to do xx

[Karena]

something boring -bit of a problem the office is locked up overnight and anything else i do is less boring,maybe i should record a staff meeting that might do the trick.

[sovague]

Sorry Emz2014 i just wrote asking for advice about insomnia and then found your post. I think my insomnia is due to my poor appetite but i assume that will return eventually. I have been having some very disturbing dreams so probably better not sleeping much for now.

[Norma]

 

[Emz2014]

No worries sovague 
If you are worrying during the day that will lead to lots of dreaming at night, so one way to try and reduce the dreams is to try and keep occupied during the day, and work through any worries that are on your mind

Trying to eat healthily will help too. Even if you're not eating alot, try and ensure you are getting some good stuff in there    xx

[sovague]

Thanks Emz2014 i am back at work full time, i had Jan and most of Feb off then went back for a few days a week to start with. Most people have been very patient with me. I slept for nearly 18 hours most days after my friends death and had no dreams at all.  I expect it will get back to normal eventually, i have never seen anyone die before and it was horrific.