My wife Helen died in June last year after 33 years together. I was on this forum a few times last summer and wanted to say thanks to everyone for your kindness and support back then.
I started going to a CRUSE bereavement support group a few weeks after Helen died. I found it very difficult at first but I kept going and it became a lifeline for me. For a few months, the group session on Wednesday morning became the main focus of my week. It was such a relief to be with other bereaved people. We all came from different walks of life and had different stories and experiences, but we all understood and respected each others' grief and loss. I got a lot of help and encouragement, and I think I was able to help others out here and there, which is a positive feeling. A bit of a social scene developed, some of us started going to a cafe or pub after the sessions. One or two of the people I met there have become good friends. I stopped going to the group after a while because it started to feel like I was going over the same things, but for me it was a haven of calm and companionship during the first few months of my bereavement.
In September, after three months bereavement, I was offered one-to-one counselling through the hospice that Helen and I were involved with. I know that some people don't get a lot out of counselling, but for me it turned out to be very positive. I think I was fortunate in that I got on very well with my counsellor. She helped me to talk through some very deep issues. Of course a counsellor can't "cure" your grief, but I think that for me at least the counselling accelerated my coming to terms with my loss. Unfortunately, my counsellor left the hospice for a new job in December, but was professional enough to wind the sessions down before she left rather than just "abandoning" me.
As with the support group, I think I've got all that I'm going to get out of counselling for now, so I'm not looking for any more at this stage. I'm just posting this to say that both those routes were a major help to me during the first six months of my bereavement. They haven't fixed anything, I still cry for my darling wife every day and feel wretched most of the time, but I've got a few glimmers of hope that weren't there before. I think I would advise anyone going through this horrible process to at least try one of these routes if you get the chance.