Hello and welcome Marvil
I moved your post here so it gets seen better and replied too.
It's still very early days for you and 29 years is just forever isn't it,,, Please accept my deepest sympathy, I do know how your feeling and I know it feels like life isn't worth living anymore but you must trust me that it will change and the pain will become bearable, though that's hard for you to believe will happen now.
I promise you if you keep posting we will get you through this very sad time and lend a listening ear when it all seems just to much to go it alone.