Hi, sorry I have just got to write this about the night Mum died, so do not read if things are vivid in your mind, I don't want to upset anyone but today has been just awful, across the road the shop I work in, first a paramedic turned up then an ambulance, I tried to be blase about it, and then bam I was there, my finding Mum, after she had called me, her groaning trying to tell me something, me calling ambulance ( God knows how) their attempts to help me keep her alive, I was begging them to help her, they kept saying ambulance on their way, they nearly there, and I knew it was hopeless, suddenly 5 ambulance people came in, I can't fault them, I saw them lift her on to the floor from her bed, I couldn't do it alone, and I collapsed in a ball in the kitchen, I heard them say they had a thready pulse, and then in what seemed like seconds the top man was asking me to make a decision, and in a second it was over, I just don't know how to get past that,let alone livi g without her,
Sorry I hope thus post hasnt upset anyone and I will remove it if need be, it's just felt like I had been hit by a truck today....