Lost

[Lost1972]

Hello, feeling lost at the moment... mum left me 22nd December  x

[pennyking]

Welcome lost1972.  So sorry for your loss.  Please take your time and when your ready tell us a little about yourself and your mum.  We are here is listen and try to help you through the grief of losing your mum.  Sending hugs.  Penny x

[Lost1972]

Thank you very much for the welcome and kind words.
Mum lost her battle with cancer in December. The last few weeks were the most horrific times I could ever have imagined.  I  feel list in my thoughts and feel so bad as I wished for her to die and I'm struggling with that as now I just wish for her to be back. I want the constant butterflies in my tummy and a real tightness in my throat and chest to go but I fear they never will.. I feel so bad and guilty for hoping everyday she would go to sleep. I'd do absolutely anything to see her just even for one more day. X

[pennyking]

To have to watch someone you love suffer so much is just awful.  We don't want to see them suffering so of course we would want that to be over, you are not alone in how you feel.  Sending massive hugs.  Be kind to yourself.  Penny x

[Lost1972]

Thank you Penny x

[Emz2014]

Sending a welcome hug.  Unfortunately a feeling a guilt seems normal in grief. I certainly went through many feelings of 'should have /shouldn't have' when I lost my dad to cancer. I think it's where our minds are trying to understand/accept what's happened  - but in time we realise we're not guilty, we have done the best we can for our loved ones  xx

[Lost1972]

Hello and thank you for your kind words, everyone tells me it will get easier, I'm back to work on Thursday which is what I need ( I think ) normality is a good thing ( so I've been told ) unsure what normal is at the moment. I feel so angry at the moment and just want her back which I know is not possible sadly xx

[sallymk1]

Hello, thank you for your kind words. I can identify with the butterflies and the feeling of being lost. Its like nothing makes sense anymore isn't it. I too wished for a speedy end to my partners suffering but never imagined it would come so soon - and never imagined the devestation I would feel. I thought I had prepared myself, but now I realise you never can. Of course you would give everything for one more day - but that would not be enough ever we would just want more. I would send a hug but I don't know how to work them yet so I send you a gift for you to find peace soon. I would be interested in knowing if going back to work did help you though.