New here and hurting.

[sallymk1]

Hello my name is Pam. My partner of ten years passed away on New Years Eve, death was expected but came sooner than thought. He never got the chance to get any treatment for his vicious cancer. Today my sons have gone back to their lives. I feel so alone, in a dark place with mounting despair. I have my dogs but even they seemed depressed, don't know where their dad is and why mum is so sad.

[Emz2014]

Sending a welcome hug  you will find people here who understand xx

[pennyking]

Welcome Pam.  So sorry for your loss.   Sending hugs.  Please tell us a little about yourself and your partner, when you feel able too.  Penny x

[Karena]

Sending you a warm welcome.when my husband died I am certain our dog was also grieviing It was him that me  made me get up everyday  and walking him got me out of the house because we had to establish a new relationship as m husband had been the one who don't all day with him .Looking back now I realise It was the dogs needs his sadness and confusion and later his companionship that pulled me through some of the worst times.

[Lost1972]

Hello
My mum left us in December and I understand your pain.. love xx

[sallymk1]

Hi, thanks to all for the kind welcoming words. Partner died of chest infection secondary to lung cancer. He was 69, retired but very active, annoyingly so at times. I was still working, I work for the NHS, shifts were horrendous but I made up my mind I would take early retirement this year. I am 61, getting on a bit but definately not elderly in body or outlook. I don't know what to do now, everythings changed and nothing makes sense.
I have two grown up sons who had a reasonably relationship with my partner, he had two grown up children with whom I have a similar relationship. They have each other and partners to support them and understand their grief. My sons have been good but they cannot fully understand the sense of loss. I have good friends thankfully and being psychiatric nurses most of them know how to say the right things. I still feel so alone though even with people around me.
Sorry thats got to be it for now as I am struggling to see through the tears. Peace and tranquility to everyone on this forum.

[Karena]

 :hug:take each day at a time and be kind too yourself it is still very early days.Pehaps in the future you might look at the possibility of working part time rather than early retirement so you still have those friends around but work is not so full on but this isn't really a good time to be making such big decisions.