So today I saw my Dr for a check up, as have been on anti depressants for a while, for once I told her the truth, I cried and said I just can't and don't want to cope without Mum, everything is pointless, and that I have a plan, if I feel no better when Mum and Dads stone is down I can just slip away, the Dr has doubled my anti depressants, I feel like, whatever, pills cant fix how I feel, I am meant to self refer myself for counselling, and see her in two weeks, who knows? I just see my Mum lying on the floor as they worked on her, hear her try and tell me what is wrong, I can't and don't even know that I want to erase that. It was August and i know many of you have suffered loss much fresher than this, and I feel pathetic that I can't be better and help you more...