Just lost my dear step-dad

[Woodlands2017]

Hello everyone

Last Sunday my wonderful step-dad died having suddenly become ill a few months before. He'd been a super fit 73 year old until this September and we went on a crazy rollercoaster of possible treatments for his cancer, before being told he had a week, which was actually 48 hours. Throughout the few months I felt I knew it was very serious, but was still hoping. We were there at the end, my sister, mum and I and my son came in to say good bye.

Now the world has stopped and fallen apart. I woke up last night in a panic as I was dreaming that I was holding his hand and then I couldn't find it. I jumped out of bed. I was so close to him - he'd been my stepdad for 38 years, since I was two. He looked after my son each week who also loved his grandad. I miss him dreadfully - it was my 40th this week and now Christmas. I am also a single parent and feel sad that my closest friends aren't around as much as I hoped. I feel quite hurt - I told my best friend I felt lonely and she said she couldn't come because of work and staying over at a friend's flat. I'm not sure if she got dick of me not responding when he was very ill - I told her I couldn't speak for a few days.  :rofl:I feel very alone right now - my mum is not coping. Being there as much as possible for her but she is mostly biting my head off. Asking my opinion then immediately saying I am wrong. I love her and know she is in agony so I'll just keep being at her side.

I know there are no easy answers but I think sharing experiences with others will help me.

All the best at this incredibly difficult time.

Octavia

[Emz2014]

Sending a welcome hug 
Grief is a rollercoaster but it does help on the journey to talk and share.  Be gentle with yourself Xx

[Karena]

   I hope we can help just as this site has helped me.Nightmares like that are awful but will fade in time.I,m sure your mum doesn't mean to be snappy but as you say is also really struggling. she willappreciate your support,juzt as i did my daughters but you need time for your own grief too.
When I lost my husband I was determined my young grandsons would not remember him with sadness of his loss but memory's of him as he was in life.They have passed that down to the younger ones who went even born through photos and little stories,perhaps in the future putting together a memory box might be something you can do together with your mum,but only when you and she feels up too it.Sharing those good memory's is bittersweet.Sometimes you cry but others you laugh and eventually those good memory's are stronger than the bad ones.
Meanwhile though its a matter of getting through a day at a time and being kind too yourself.