Being in different circumstances I was able to change it when I lost my husband by more or less dropping it,I go and see grandkids and do presents,alternating between my daughters whereas in the past everyone came to us,but that's just Xmas day,itself and now I am a guest of someone else's celebration but detached from all the paraphanalia around it.Also started with the grandkids new tradition of decorating an outside tree with a bird food feast,so I,m not sad granny in the corner or granny who has to be answered too because it is tradition,but just Granny who is different.That doesn't mean I have forgotten or somehow disrespected how we used to do it or how my mum did it before,they are still very much on my mind in creating new traditions around things they loved,my mum loved watching the birds and spent her last Xmas day doing that at our house so its different from filling the house with tinsel,and I know both of them would have been delighted to see the children making fatballs and popcorn chains and hanging them up.Your circumstances are different and you would find your own way to do that.Given that its a few weeks away and you are obviously and understandably emotionally and physically exhausted I think I would be calling on siblings to make an effortand sort xmas,if they want a family Xmas,say you will go along for Xmas lunch or whatever,but that's it.If they don't make the effort and you want to spend it in bed or quietly at home with just your dad who is probably also dreading xmas then go ahead,I,m sure your mum and uncle would understand.