I think there are levels of being happy.I struggle with SAD so bad time of year coming up anyway.But I,m not miserable or even unhappy all the time,maybe content isn't the right word either.I laugh,but the laugh never quite reaches my heart.I love my grand children and children without condition and so they make me happy I see a dolphin and my heart lifts like it used too but i,m aware of a space where he should be standing.I enjoy travelling but again there is a space, There is a big chunk of happy missing that I don't think will ever be replaced.
Overall life has been pretty traumatic as long as I can remember.
But there was a period of time when we were together and life was pretty perfect.All is lost now,but I am really glad that I knew what I had when I did.Many people don't get that or don't realise that they have because they're always looking for more.So even though I could spend the rest of my life missing that chunk of happiness I,m really glad I had it to miss.