Hello Karen and welcome to this group.
First may I offer you my heartfelt sympathy, you must be in total disbelief, feeling numb, and of course like you said feeling very alone and lost.
Posting here no matter day and night does ease away that horrible feeling that you have no one to turn too, because others here understand fully the terrible emotions you are going through right now, and it so helps with the healing process getting them all out in the open and not bottling them up.
Once again I'm so sorry for your very sad loss Karen and we are here for you all the way to support you I promise.