Ah thank you for your lovely reply Janka. I am so sorry for your loss too. Life can be very unfair sometimes. Your Jan sounds like a wonderful man. I am so pleased you have 2 lovely friends. I as well am extremely lucky to have a couple of very lovely friends. It is still hard though as people do have their own lives and families and although I'm so so happy that they do, it can feel difficult that I don't have that.
Thank goodness we can come on here and see people who understand, I have looked on here alot recently, I just haven't felt up to replying, I start typing replies and I think it never sounds good enough but I'm going to try a bit more xxx