Hi Penguin123.
I can really relate to your situation and I offer my heartfelt condolences. My husband died very suddenly and unexpectedly in February and I too find that some days are hard to cope with. I understand that it can be difficult to talk and don't want to turn your post into too much about myself, I just wanted to say that if you want to talk maybe we could help each other. I'd like to be here for you, if you find that acceptable.