Hello Jannit, yes of course. It's 22 months now for me. I'm sure that we all experience the same feelings and emotions but not necessarily in the same order or at the same time.
I was totally devastated and for the first few weeks I was just in a daze, completely stunned and I think in denial. That passed slowly and for me the next couple of months were the worst. I can remember the realisation really dawning on me that she was gone, I think a lot of people go through a stage of thinking it's not real - she'll come home soon. I think that it was then that I really went to pieces for a time, all sorts of crazy things went through my mind and at times I just locked the doors and went to bed and clung on.
Chris died in our local hospice, I'm eternally grateful that she had such good care in her last days. I don't know if it's the same everywhere but our Hospice stay in touch with recently bereaved people and they run group sessions approximately 3 months after the death. When I was first offered a place, they run once a week over 6 weeks, I declined and one of the support workers came to see me at home. Suffice to say I changed my mind and went and I was very glad that I did. I've never been good in company and dreaded it but after the first session I relaxed. It was a good place to be because everybody was in the same situation and it was safe. You could laugh, cry or have a rant and it was OK. Just like this forum where the same applies.
It is so early for you. I was lucky to have supportive family and friends around me and I hope that you're in the same position. Be kind to yourself and don't worry about other people, they are overwhelmingly kind and mean well.