Hi Dave, Welcome, but really sorry that, like all of us, you have to be here.
Anything you say here, on how you feel, you will not be judged by it, as we are all going through the same.
I have only recently joined the forum, I have found the people here, very helpful and very understanding.
Grief does not come with a user manual, so we don't have all the answers, but we can be there for each other and help the best we can.
Take care