Hi Sharon,
Really sorry for your loss. I lost my Wife in December 2016.
I hope you are getting support from the Army bereavement dept, have you been in touch with SAFFA ,
This is a great group, I have found people here a great comfort and some stories I have heard here, have actually made me laugh, which I have not been able to do since my Wife passed..
As I have said to many people, grief, does not come with a user manual, so we are all trying to muddle through this horrendous situation that we have all been put in, it is a very cruel world, you are happy with everything in your life, then bang it jumps up and kicks you, it is so hard.
I do hope that being here, will be a help to you, take care