Hi Karena,
Thank you very much, for your reply. Also for sharing your experience with me. The problem with grief is, it does not come with a user manual, so we have to learn from other people's experiences and muddling through as best we possibly can.
You always have it in your mind, that you will be together forever, although my Wife had MS, we had no reason to think that her life was going to end so quickly, within 4 days of contracting pneumonia, she was gone, I just was not prepared for that, I know that none of us are ever prepared, but it's when it's so sudden and unexpected.
I hope you are enjoying your photography, carrying a camera with you all the time, is when you get the bests Shots, as they are not planned subjects. I was a professional photographer, in the 1970's, I still enjoy it, but purely amateur basis now, but have not been able, or should I say panic to go out and do it.
I also played drums in bands in the 1960's, but playing has been difficult since my accident, I taught my Granddaughter to play drums when she was 6 years old, she is nearly 15 now and a good drummer. I play bass guitar, but quite badly, very rusty, as have not played for years. I have many hobbies, but have just not got the inventive at the moment, as taking them up again feels like a betrayal, as we used to do things together and I find doings things on my own and going out on my own, I feel very guilty, as it just does not feel right.
Sorry I am rambling again, I tend to do that, I don't know if it's because when you have nobody to talk to, you have to say as much as you can. Thank you for listening and I really appreciate the support