Unfathomable

[Joy]

To loose one loved one is a devastating experience. Following the unexpected of my brother in law on the 21st April 2017, I have now had to endure 4 close family deaths in just 16 months. I have been going to the my local Cruse Support Group, but I feel that I need support from many sources, especially those who may have had similar experiences. I went to see the Pastoral Support Team at my local church yesterday. 
My brother died on the 19th march 2016. At this time, I knew that my younger sister was terminally ill with cancer. She died three months later. I then tried to put her husband 'back together' and he was just starting to be happy again and to move nearer to me so that he could attempt to move on. He was found dead in his house on moving day - again unexpected. In the meantime on Remembrance Sunday, my late brothers wife died of a rare terminal condition. The ages range from 54 to 67. My family is being wiped out and I am frightened of what is next and how am I supposed to find yet more resources to go on, why I should and is exhausting. Visiting my sister in the Hospice before she died was a diversion to my brothers death and looking after her husband and publishing a book of her poems was a diversion to her death. The gaps between all these deaths means I have not really had time to grieve for any of them and now the grief for all of them is hitting me at once. Apart from wash and eat (the wrong things considering I am diabetic), the house is a mess. I have been on a couple of walks and am trying to do some paid work this week where I have a supportive employer who is really a friend - this has proved therapeutic in the past. Any constructive advice is welcome wherever it may come from. I just cry all the time and sleep a lot, dreading the energy needed to get through another day. I have one remaining brother who deals with grief so different to me and he cannot cope at all with all my fierce tears and thinks I am bringing it upon myself, whilst Cruse tell me it is natural.

[Norma]

Sending you a warm welcome.    Joy. Xx

[Joy]

My brother died in December 15 and my sister died in March 16 - not as stated

[Karena]

I think you have hit it spot on a cumulation of grief where there has been no time to begin to do that before the next blow arrived.But it is also normal for a new grief to trigger an old one even when loved ones died more far apart.I am glad youyr are getting support from Cruse and your church but agree the more you can get the better,and this is different because you are not face to face and sometimes I think we hold back knowing that if you voice the thought that you are thinking it will choke you to say it so sometimes its easier to write than to speak,that's in my experience anyway.
With the more practical things walking will help because natured has a way of soothing so you can almost take a break from grief .By looking round and feeling the elements it distracts even if its only for a short time.Its not surprising the house has fallen behind but in a way it just adds to the situation because you keep thinking you should do it and that makes you even more anxious.But your health is more important .I am also a comfort eater but not diabetic.The only thing I can suggest is to try and keep stuff in that isn't loaded with sugar. But I know that's easier said than done.
One thing that has worked for some is to set yourself one small task each day and congratulate yourself when you have done it rather than beating yourself up about what you havnt done.Most important,crying is OK lack of motivation is OK so be kind too yourself.