Hello everyone. As I type I'm in bits - but I'd better explain that although I'm bereaved (partner of 16 years, February 17, just six DAYS after pancreatic cancer diagnosis) the issue at the moment is our 15 year old son who's up and down like a rollercoaster and I'd thought turned a corner last week by breaking down in tears at school for the first time of crying since his dad's funeral. Now, this morning, he's declining to go to school again despite apparently really wanting to go to school today, because of course it's my fault for "nagging him" to get up in time for the bus.
What's more, Cruse, Winston's Wish, a local counselling group, etc., not one of them has an out of hours helpline and since we've had to move house/country/etc I have no friends AT ALL nearby to call on for any kind of support.
On top of all of this, we have MAJOR problems with the will - he'd wanted to change it once he got diagnosis but was taken into hospital the day it arrived in his email inbox so doesn't count
- and last but most definitely not least, I found out a couple of weeks after he died that our son had been persuaded by his dad to keep secret from me for years that he was almost certainly having a relationship with a friend of his with whom we're now connected legally and who lives just up the road and to make matters finally and painfully worse, is 12 years older than we are.............................
So yes, I'm in bits today and just wish I could feel sadness rather than overwhelming pain and anger.
