Thank you Julia an everyone that reads this ,I am finding the days a little easier at the moment I still have the odd down days,Sat I didn't want to leave the bed it was only my eldest son asking if I wanted to go out or did I want him to cook something that got me up and about.But on the whole the days are getting easier but the nights can be a little rough sometimes .I have started throwing the small stuff out ,things that doesn't really matter but the house was total hers she was a very creative woman, decoration ,furniture,3 wardrobes full of new cloths everything really,even the garden (which I haven't got a clue about).I have a daunting task ahead of me,but that is in the future,I have starting counselling and much to my disgust having to go back to work tomorrow,so things are moving slowly ,I have also found and perhaps other people have too that little problems that should not be a problem turn in to big problems and stop me in my tracks and I can find myself worrying about things in the future I have no control over ,stupid I know but at the moment it happens,anyway thank you all for all reading this I know you all have similar problems and heart aches but it helps to write about it.