It is 17 days since I found my partner of 10 years (although I had known him for 30 years) dead from rupture of an aortic aneurysm. I have had compassionate leave from work, have been given beta-blockers, diazepam and zopiclone by my GP; and have eight sessions of counselling arrange for me through work. I am 55 and live alone. I have no parents, siblings or children to turn to; and no real close friends. I feel like I am living each day as a 24-hour anxiety attack. The feeling is so, so awful. I lost my mum suddenly 30 years ago, and remember how traumatic that was. That has all risen to the surface and compounded with my current nightmare. I know they say that time will heal, but, at present I cannot believe that. I suppose I have joined this forum as it would be good to know I am not currently alone. It is a living hell.