Home alone and hearing noises

[Natskii26]

Hello,
I sadly lost my best friend and grandmother on 13th November 2016. I still have her ashes as I can't bring myself to let her go,I used to live with her, and still live in the house. She slept downstairs and I slept upstairs and could hear most nights every now and again she'd cough and I knew she was there. Ever since she's gone I constantly think about her. At first I dreamt that she was still alive and I could see her body but the face was different. I used to worry every time I went to sleep because I knew she wasn't here anymore and it broke my heart To think I'd never see her again and to dream without seeing her face upset me even more. Over the last two  weeks when I'm home alone I can still hear her cough knowing no ones there. I feel very confused and don't know if it's just in my head or that she  is visiting me. If anyone has experienced any of this I would like to know and would give me peace of mind and to feel not alone in experiencing these  sorts of things.

 Thank you,
 Natskii26

[Norma]

Sending a welcome hug xx

 

At this early stage in your bereavement our minds do tend to Play tricks on us, but you know if hearing your man cough brings you some comfort, that can only be good. Xx

[Hubby]

Welcome to the forum Natskii

We all grieve differently and anything you experience is completely normal for you. Rest assured that you will not be the first person who has heard their loved one

 

[Natskii26]

Thank you so much guys for replying, it's the first time I've ever posted in a forum. We have to sell the house, and will be moving within the next few months. She passed away in the house, will I experience these sorts of things in the new house or will they go away. I have mixed feelings about the things I'm hearing, one minute I feel comfort and then one minute I feel scared because Im alone in the house, I feel like I should have let her go by now but I can't, I'm the only one that lives with me that's experiencing these things   

[Rosaleen]

Hi Natskii
When I first came on this site 15 months ago, having only just lost my partner, I read about continuing bonds, which really gave me, and continues to give me, huge comfort.
 Instead of thinking of letting our loved ones go, we have  bonds which keep them  with us; these bonds can never be severed. If you look it up on the web it'll explain it much better than I can.
I hope it helps you

[longedge]

I'd agree with Rosaleen wholeheartedly Natskii, the 'echoes' of our loved ones stay with us and give us comfort. I've felt Chris' presence and heard her voice several times and hand on heart, I have to admit that I believe that it was my yearning that gave me the sensations. What I know without any shadow of doubt is that no matter what, she would never have hurt me in life and certainly won't now.

[Karena]

I sometimes hear a distinct knocking in the house always if I,he been distressed or things going on with the family that I worry about,the knock is the same knock my mum had and she did live in this house but didn't die here.I think if there is a way our loved ones can communicate they will do so even if you move.they are not bound to a place but too us.

[Natskii26]

I wish she didn't have to go, life seems so empty without her, I enjoyed her laughter, her advice, her voice, her beautiful face! Even though she was 96 years old, I wasnt ready to say goodbye forever 

[Karena]

  of course you do,she sounds like a lovely lady.

[Natskii26]

She was the best!

Thank you to anyone that took the time to reply to my messages, it was nice to hear that I'm not the only one that's experiencing different things. How long does it take before it starts getting easier?

[Hubby]

It's hard to put a time frame on it as we're all different. You will have easier days though and they will become more frequent.

[Karena]

There isn't a timeline,its a bit of a rollercoaster ,things seem to be getting better then something triggers you back again,there are things you fear,birthdays Xmas anniversary's which often turn out worse in anticipation than the day itself,and then the things you don't know will hit you,a song,a comment,anything.What I can tell you is that over time those dips get shallower and easier to climb back out again.People have expectations of when you should be " back to normal" and some people will tell you so,but there really isn't a normal time.

[Natskii26]

Thank you, my family seem back to normal unless they're better than me about trying to hide it

[Hubby]

We do tend to try and hide it and be strong for our families. Some are better at it than others.

I'm pretty lousy at it.