I noticed you went here . :hug:as Emz said a difficult time,trying to make something positive out of a new life that you neither expected,asked for or like.I think its a case of collecting brief moments of happy,just simple things like a kick around with your grandson,and then build them up.Maybe plan something to do with him,give him a pot of plants and a watering can,take him to an event,etc.
I,m not incapable of having fun but at the same time i have noticed the new me is not as much fun as the old one and I suppose you could even say up tight a lot of the time. Still on the outside looking in.
Maybe its a control thing.Grief is a time when our lives spin out of control,so maybe on the road to recovery we collect up bits of control,then find it really difficult to do anything that might mean losing even a fraction of it again.
But despite moments of sadness I wouldn't say I,m unhappy most of the time either but it took a long time to get here.