Hi, I'm Steve, my partner of 40 years has recently passed away at the age of 61, I don't know if I'm doing the right things, I don't go out much, but I don't want to at the moment, my daughter is trying to push me to go out with friends.
I spend most my time at home, sometimes I wake up and just sit on the bed thinking about her and crying, sometimes it just happens, something triggers it, I'll even sit down and play a track because I know its going to make me cry because I want to cry, I hope to cry less, but, I don’t know If I’ll ever stop totally.
I tried not to hold back from crying, hoping that it would make me feel better eventually, it's only a month on so I'm not expecting much, but, the feeling of loss seems to have got worse, I've had more time to think about what I've lost.
I don't think I'm depressed, I've spent a lot of time thinking, I'm ok apart from crying, but, I wonder if I'm suffering from guilt, I look back at our lives together and feel lots of things I could had done things differently and her life would have been better, maybe still alive. She was beautiful and I blew it, that’s how I feel now.