How do you deal with the guilt?

[Debbie1970]

How do you deal with the feelings of guilt that you missed the signs of illness? My daughter died within 48 hrs of first being sick but the condition that killed her was diagnosed 12 months ago when she was ill previously but the hospital didn't bother discussing with me that it could have been fatal and if not treated would be fatal. We only know about this diagnosis because of a sick note for uni reread after death. So angry at them and with myself for not finding this out. We are in process of getting hospital records to investigate what lily was told about her condition but the guilt of not keeping her safe is breaking my heart

[Norma]

Debbie, My heart goes out to you, but guilt is a normal reaction, we have to blame someone and it is normally ourselves, thinking the whats ifs and if only, i do hope you can get to the bottom of Lily's condition xx

 

[Hubby]

Guilt is quite a normal part of grief Debbie. Most of us have it.

We go over and over things we could have done differently that might have changed the outcome. It's pretty easy to find many such things with the benefit of hindsight but we did the best at the time knowing what we did at that time. We just have to accept that we cannot go back and try not to torture ourselves too much over things we cannot change.

 

[pennyking]

The guilt is certainly a hard one to deal with.  I hope you can find some answer that will help.  Sending Hugs xxx