Hi
First time poster, my Mum died suddenly, but not unexpectedly, at the end of last April and with all the hubris and organising to do at the time I seemed to cope fairly well with things.
There has been fairly awful family fall-outs since, my Sister chose not to attend the funeral and phoned round a lot of my Mums friends causing bother, assaulting my Dad requiring police involvment, so there has been other distractions along the way.
Recently I've been increasingly affected by dreams about my Mum, to the point now where it's every time I sleep. The dreams are generally positive or benign, happier times, my childhood home, my Mum in good health etc, but occassionally they have been sinister or darker.
I went through a period of depression about 2 months after my Mum's passing, couldn't get out of bed etc, but that passed, I think about my Mum a lot, and kept Christmas and my 40th all low key, I try to remain ostensibly chipper to gee my Dad up and to try and keep him positive and engaged.
I've been honest with my wife and explained my feelings, but she was close to my Mum, and has her own grief to deal with.
I know counselling is hard to come by unless you are prepared to pay a fair amount of money, I have flirted with going to see a psychic (although a more rational detached me is very suspicious of them) but I feel I'm just at a dead end. I'm guessing that this is something I'm going to have to work through, and just an inevitable part of the journey, it's just that sometimes it feels like things are getting harder rather than easier.
Maybe with all the conflict I've delayed the grieving?
Paul