Bereavement

[paul]

Hi. I recently lost my wife to cancer and would like any advice as to coping with the loss. She had been in hospital for nearly two months, so I got used to being at home on my home, but last night I couldn't sleep at all, just dozing all the time.

[Norma]

Welcome Paul sending you a
 

[Emz2014]

Sending a welcome hug 

Coping is often quite individual, everyones loss will be individual to them, however there will also be many similarities too. Books talk about stages of grief, and they are right, although grief doesn't work in an orderly fashion, working through set phases, it is often a rollercoaster  which can be confusing and worrying, often revisiting 'stages'.  I personally found reading a book on grief did help a bit, as it wasn't all so unknown (can get cheap ones via kindle if you have one) and talking with others was most helpful - knowing I wasn't alone in the emotions/stages.

I think the best advice is to take little baby steps and keep talking with others for support. Theres going to be hard days when you are really down, but be gentle with yourself and keep taking care of yourself and taking the little steps and gently over time you will find the easier/coping days will increase between the bad

If there is anything in particular you are struggling with (sleep, or going out etc) please let us know and I'm sure members will all have some tips which have helped them.   xx

[Didi63]

  Welcome Paul to this nice place.

[pennyking]

Welcome Paul, so sorry for your loss.  Keeping talking to us Paul, tell us about your wife.  Sending Hugs, Penny x

[Hubby]

Hi Paul. Welcome to the forum. I'm very sorry to hear if your loss.

I wish I could put something down here that would make things easier for you but grief is grief and I don't think there is a way to make it easier. You can manage it a bit by doing things to distract yourself but it has to come out eventually. Just remember that however you grieve that is normal for you

One thing that did help me when I was at my lowest was phoning the Samaritans. I found that I felt better after voicing my thoughts to someone non-judgemental. It helped me make sense of the whirlwind of emotions that were sometimes overwhelming. It's not for everyone but perhaps it is something you could consider.

Wishing you strength.

 

[Julie Magson]

Hello Paul. Sleep when you can and when you need to. Our bodies have been dealt a crushing blow and grief can be exhausting. Don't push yourself, one hour at a time, one day at a time. Do you have any support?