Had a long long think today about your other postings.
I try to to find distractions so I can use them to try and keep myself busy, not vegetating or spiralling down into a dark pit.
I know I can't escape grief. I hope I'm being honest with myself when I say that I don't expect to. I think I've said before,.... the times when I am physically grieving are the times I AM the closest I can ever be now to George.This closeness is strong, and the deeper the grief the stronger the closeness. It seems to work in some weird way. I do feel loss as well, but most of the time it's overridden by the closeness, which can prompt the welcome, happy memories.
My original post was because of a seemingly ongoing, unrelenting, depressive state. Very different from the previous periods or phases I've had before, of feeling down, grieving, interspersed with times of numbness, some element of feeling less down and less grieving so almost a little respite.
I appreciate what you said Karena about things not being hopeless, that it's not never ending. It means a lot.
And Hubby what you said about the weather, I needed to hear that, to remind me that this winter, in all senses of the word, won't last forever. So thanks