Trying to Move Forwards. Posted on behalf of Nina69

[Brian71]

(Nina69 sent me a direct message asking if I could post the following on her behalf)

Hi All
Been following your posts since November in the hope I can get strength to move forward. First let me wish you all A Happy New Year.

I lost my dear husband and soulmate in August 2015. He was my everything! We led a very full life both together and independently. Although I still work and have many friends I feel at a complete loss without him by my side. I have pushed myself to the limit. Taking holidays alone. One on a remote Scottish isle in April 2016. I made myself book whale watching and geology trips, ate out alone then returned back to base and asked what I was trying to prove because the bottom line is whatever we are doing watching a sunrise or sunset without our loved one is soul destroying.
I have a loving family and many friends and I always join them for dinner or events but one always feels a great sadness without your loved one by your side.
Joined the U3A (university of the 3rd Age) knowing full well that Brian's advice is invaluable as the only way forward is to make new friends.  But I simply don't have that push at present that it takes so haven't joined any of the groups or events available.

Not the courage because I have had to find courage to do so many many  things since Richard died and I do it for him because I would want him to be proud. I have wanted to run sometimes when out of my comfort zone but gritted my teeth and told myself to get on with it!

Still a long way to go but hoping 2017 moves me a step nearer to coping with the lonely and empty feeling that we all have to bear.

Sending my sincere best wishes to you all.
Kind regards Nina
Ps struggling to send this message perhaps I don't understand the format? Will try and post to a member with the hope they can post for me. Thank you.

[Emz2014]

Sending a hug 
It is hard and we have to push ourselves out of our comfort zones but remember some rest and TLC for ourselves in between. Celebrate the successes as you go, no matter how small they may seem, they are all another little step forward in our journeys xx

[Karena]

I have also pushed myself to do things since losing my husband in 2011.I try and think in terms of him being with me in spirit so have largely chose things we enjoyed together and things I know he would have liked to do.Sometimes I do feel he is there,not always though.Coming home and back to normality I still find far more difficult.I tried joining a few local things,just because that's what you're "supposed " to do.They didn't work out,I didn't fit and have since realised the things worth fighting and overcoming hurdles to do are only those I want too not things others think I should.In time the trip or event you want to do with U3a will come along,but don't rush to just do anything for doings sake pick your battles in other words.
It is still early days and as shock and disbelief turns to horrible reality loneliness and longing can become very intense no matter how hard we try to fill the time up.I think sometimes we have to just allow ourselves to grieve.

[Hubby]

Welcome to the forum Nina I am so sorry to hear of your loss.