Introducing Myself

[Cherr Ty]

Hi,  my name is cherycce.  I'm 23 and I've lost my amazing man.  We were together for 5 years,  just bought a home together in July.  He was a very well respected solider,  and very highly regarded in his job.  He was away on a training course,  has done many before and always finished as the best guy.  But in November he didn't come home.  Why should a soldier have to die in training. So far,  I just feel angry. So angry I haven't really dealt with any other emotion,  or accepted this.  I still expect him home.  No one else I have spoke to knows what it's like to be around my age and have to deal with this loss,  and no one knows what to say to me. 

[Julie Magson]

Hello cherycce- so so sorry to read this tragic post. How did he actually die in training? I'm not surprised you can't accept it. Be assured though that everyone on here totally understand what you are- and will be - going through.

[pennyking]

Welcome to our group.  So very sorry for your tragic loss. I'm not surprised you can only feel anger.  Please keep talking to us and tell us more when your ready about you and your amazing man.  Take care.  Penny x

[Hubby]

Hi cherycce. I am so sorry to hear of your loss.


 

[Cherr Ty]

I don't know how,  it's under police investigation.  There has been many deaths in training recently and the mod doesn't seem to ever take responsibility in any of them.  I've had messages from his bosses,  friends,  colleagues, people he toured with,  all telling me how amazing he was at his job,  and that they wouldn't have got their ranks if it wasn't for.  No one can understand why him. . At least police investigation means army cannot cover it. We had so many plans for the future,  this year we were going to start trying for a baby.  And everything has just been ripped away from me.  I'm willing to grieve for my future,  but I just don't let myself think about him in that way. 

[Julie Magson]

Oh goodness. That must make your grief even worse- if that's possible.

[Brian71]

So sorry to hear of your loss,   even more tragic at such a young age when you have your whole life ahead of you.
I was in the army myself for quite a while, in the RE,  my daughter Jo also served 12yrs in the RAMC, and still have family in today.
May I ask what regiment he was in ?

It's bad enough when we lose a loved on later in life,  but it's even worse when it's someone very young,  I hope coming on here will give a little comfort, indeed I wish there were some magic words I could write to ease what you are feeling right now.

I wish you much strength during this difficult sad time.
 

Best wishes..........Brian

[LunaLu]

So sorry to read of you loss x

[Hubby]

What a terrible situation. Not having answers is not going to help with the grieving process and it will probably be a long struggle to get those answers.

I wish you the strength you will need to cope with everything.
 

[Cherr Ty]

He's in the rifles. 
Not having answers means I have so many questions,  and I keep thinking of different scenarios some being that he is missing and we need to find him.  I need to blame something,  and I need someone to take responsibility for it.  And not having that yet is so difficult. 
It took me so long to fully accept his job and everything that came with it,  as in the last year we got to a place where him going away wasn't an issue,  I knew how to deal with it and the time eventually flew by.  So I didn't have any second thoughts when he left this time.  We always thought we didn't want kids and we decided we did,  I always said I would never move away from my home town,  but recently we decided it would be best for both our career paths. Why now, now that we were completely happy and settled and had a plan,  we talked about wedding themes and baby names.  And it's all gone.  Texting one day,  and not the next. 
His friends told me he was thinking of leaving the army.  I'd always secretly hoped he would (except not so secretly!)  and now he finally thinking about it this happens?  I was going to get the life I'd always wanted with him.  I am so angry at the army,  the mod,  everyone who was there,  all his friends.  I just want to go to barracks and find someone to shout at,  and ask why. 

[Hubby]

I cannot even begin to imagine how you are feeling right now. my thoughts are with you.