Karena, I'm genuinely pleased that you've managed to find some new meaning in life.
For myself,well...........
going back to the avoiding friends subject ties in, because I still do the same, 1 year on, with old friends. I'd tried by starting to stay in contact with them via email but ended up just letting them know that I wanted space and would let them know when things changed, which it hasn't.
Frankly, with these old friends Im not interested in them talking about their daily lives, their own minor worries and I have no interest in sharing any of mine.
I feel with Christmas coming up they may want to reestablish contact, with Christmas cards,
but know these are likely to have such *!!**!! messages as Have a Wonderful Christmas. They did last year, only 7 WEEKS after George passed away.
I ve read on here about how refusing friendship is like refusing to accept a gift. But for me, for now , that's their problem not mine.
I have found new friendships with the bereavement support group I started with a year ago. We still meet up and when we're together it's the only time I feel normal and can be myself. I go out and do things on my own,cycling' keep fit, local theatre plays, I hadn't realised not everyone finds that easy.
I don't have close family, other than my brother in Australia who rings me every week and one cousin who I 'talk' with via Facebook private messages.
For you Karena I think you said you're 5 years 'in' ? Maybe I'll feel the same by then