Sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved husband, it won't be easy for quite a while, it's still very raw for you, I remember what It was like in the immediate weeks when I lost my wife after almost 49yrs marriage very suddenly indeed in April to undiagnosed lung cancer, they discovered it a couple days before she passed away.
Grieving for a loved one especially when it's your soulmate is something that stays with us for a very long time indeed, (possibly the rest of our lives) it's just over 7mths for me, and I still have periods of crying and depression, and you likely will too, it's completely normal to let it out.
However I can assure you that everyone on here understands, I still get a some comfort from my friends on here, months after I joined and I hope you will too, as it did help me enormously in those early days, and still does.
I don't think the grieving goes away, but with the passing of time, we accept, adapt and slowly it becomes more manageable, and I'm not saying it's not hard, because it is. It feels like your whole world, your life has come to an end but we have to try, and initially that will mean a day at a time, something I'm often still doing. You take care.
Wishing you strength...
