Hello everyone. This is my first post and I just want to know whether what I am feeling is normal. I lost my mum last week and despite a few tears at the time I was informed, I am just not reacting the way I thought I would have done. When my father died, I fell to pieces. I have always been close to my mother, more so since my dad died, so I am shocked/disgusted as to why I am not feeling anything, pretty much.
My mum had a long, protracted illness (COPD) and I was with her as much as possible. I have also been battling serious health issues of my own and we jokingly called each other 'mothers in arms'. We would text/call each other frequently as my visits were sporadic at best, and we offered each other moral support whenever possible. In the last week of her life (spent in hospital), I was with her a lot. Unfortunately, a close family member decided to cause some trouble with reference to inheritence which has left a rather sour taste in my mouth. Fortunately, mum was unaware of what was occuring but the whole nasty debacle has really upset me which could be why I just cannot grieve normally (i.e. cry, feel a sense of loss etc).
I have been busy with the funeral arrangements which will be happening this week, whilst also trying to distance myself from this family member; perhaps anger is my overriding emotion at the moment? I've also noticed that I cannot easily articulate my thoughts onto paper.
I accept there is 'no normal', but is it possible that feeling moreorless no sadness or tears is normal? Even talking to the priest today and writing her eulogy, I appear to have some kind of detachment. I'm sorry if I am not providing much information to go on; just a little worried how 'open' this forum is.
Your help/advice would be really appreciated. Thank you x
