Hello

[dizzylizzy]

Hi, my name is Lizzie and lost my mum in February. I feel like I'm trying so hard to keep it together and just when I think I'm doing a good job and my mum would be proud, the feeling of agony tears my soul apart again and it feels unbearable. I have started to think I might actually be going crazy. I have two very young children, My 3 year old son and a daughter, whom I named after my mum - she was exactly 6 months old on the day she died. It still seems unbelievable that she is gone. I think the hardest thing is accepting that I am never, not ever, going to see her again. That makes me so sad. And yet I know she would want me to be strong and be happy for my kids, which I do. My husband is in the Navy so I spend a lot of time on my own. He has been wonderful but i don't like to spend all my time with him crying so I try not to. I also have to be there for my dad. He is so sad too and lost without her. She was my best friend and her death has been life changing for me. I need to let my grief out and surround myself with people who can empathise. May I extend my sympathy to everyone who is grieving, I offer my support to you also. Thank you for taking the time to read this xxx

[Emz2014]

Sending a welcome hug   
Feeling like you are going crazy or losing your mind seems to be a very common stage in grief.  Its a hard rollercoaster journey.  Everyone here understands and it's a friendly bunch here xx

[pennyking]

Hi Lizzy and welcome.  So sorry for your loss.  Grief is very much a rollercoaster ride. Plenty on ups and downs.  Being on your own with young ones must be hard.  We are here if you need to talk.  Puttings your thoughts down in writing is hard but is better than all bottled up.  Take care x

[Julie Magson]

Hi Lizzy  I'm glad you've found us as this place has helped me so much. It is so hard when you have to be there for others too.

[Hubby]

Hi dizzy. So sorry to hear of your loss.

You say you sometimes think you are going crazy but rest assured that is just a part of grieving and is perfectly normal. You have actually hit the nail on the head in realising that you have to let the grief out. You are in a difficult position to do that with your family to look after and father to hide it from so will have had little chance to 'let it out'.

You are among friends on this forum who are all on a similar journey. I hope it helps you to put your feelings down and get the reassurance that everything you are experiencing is a normal part of grief and that there is hope for the future.

Wishing you strength