I've hit a wall.

[marvil296]

Hi Jules like you I  lost my husband last August and my mum in October this year.Its so hard as they are the most important people in your life.I only hav e my brother left now.He has a busy life with his partner and his Two grown up girls.Thats his way of coping working constantly.I take my wee westie for long walks it helps me he is so loyal and a great comfort.I also have started to go to church as the minister who conducted my husband and mum's funeral is so caring and kind.I really felt at peace there and not so alone.You could try that it may help.I got a few invites for tea.There is lots of caring peole there that have there own troubles but want to help you.Its such an uplifiting place.Take care .Marvil

[Jules-pick]

Hi Marvil,  I am so sorry to hear of your sad loses too!  It's so hard isn't it..I was doing OK to start with but I'm struggling now!  I am quite spiritual although I'm not a regular church goer I do, like you ,feel drawn to the church!  I'm practising meditation at the moment which seems to be helping me sleep a little better!  I find it's the little things that normally wouldn't upset me that tip me over the edge!  For both of us it is early days! Take good care of yourself x

[marvil296]

Hi Jules, Like you the little things get  me to.I spoke to my mum on the phone 4 times a day.Its so hard I keep going to phone her.The only way Ive coped in my house is to decorate it and get new stuff.Last year at xmas was so hard.I couldn't put my xmas tree up as I was to upset I just spent they day on my own.It was so hard not to have my lovely husband with me and do all our traditions.Also my mum was ill then it was a the worst xmas ever.This year I have bought a new xmas tree a fibre optic one,so it want be so upsetting to put it up.I cherish the happy memories I have of xmas as it was me and my husband favourite time of year.I got engaged at xmas and married on the 12 Dec.My lovely mum brought the sparkle on her clothes she wore and her lovely personalty.Like you it will be hard but a friend said to me to start new traditions for xmas.So I'm going to try that.Take care x

[Hubby]

The little things that set me off are the ones that take me by surprise and the house seems to be absolutely full of them. It's as if I have prepared myself for the things I expect to set me off but finding an earring in a drawer or an old birthday card is the end of the world.

[Brian71]

Karena... I found your last post really interesting indeed....,  certainly makes one think from a different perspective,  and you're 100% right of course.

[marvil296]

Hi hubby ,I was so sorry to read what happened to your wife's grave .The little things you find in the house unexpected are the worst,though happy memories, it hurts cause you just wish they were still there with you.Like you I have good days and bad days.Special occasions are the worst though.This xmas I'm going to try and enjoy it a bit as last xmas was so hard.I hope you start to have more good days than bad.Take care.Marvil

[Hubby]

Thanks marvil. It's nice to hear from someone who has gone through things that I am yet to face like Christmas.

I am dreading it but I know deep down that it can't possibly be as bad as I am thinking it will be.

[marvil296]

Hi Hubby just keep busy at xmas.You have your family and your lovely grandson who will make you smile watching them enjoy xmas.I didn't send xmas cards last year as it was to soon after my lovely husband had died.And the thought of leaving his name of the card was horrible.This year I will just send to close friends and neighbours.But I found last year I didn get many cards as people didn't want to wish you a merry xmas as they new I wouldn't have one.Its still going to be hard this year as Ive just lost my lovely mum to.As she brought the sparkle on her clothes and in her personality.But I will try and enjoy it like everyone  else but its so hard.Take care.

[Hubby]

Thanks marvil. I've already had one run in with cards last week. I didn't even think about it until I got to the 'from' part and that was really upsetting. I will be busy st Christmas. It looks like I am going to have to do the dinner which will probably take me the best part of December. 

[marvil296]

Hi hubby that's good your making the xmas dinner that will  keep you busy.The best way to do it is delegate jobs ,so you do have to do it all your self.Marvil Take care.

[Karena]

Maybe spread it out a bit ask you daughter to bring starter or dessert so you don't have to worry about them.

[Hubby]

I'm doing a chicken dinner on Sunday as a dry run for the basics. I'm sure I can microwave most of the fancy bits. Portion controlling the a problem but I'm sure billy and the cat will help clear any excesses.

[Karena]

Sounds good hubby .Not sure if you can microwave roastys though.

[Hubby]

I've just spent a while googling how to cook the bits and pieces.

I'm doing chicken (in a ready to cook bag), roasties, boiled spuds, carrot and turnip mash, broccoli, yorkshires, pigs in blankets, stuffing and gravy. The hard part is going to be getting them all ready at the same time.

[Emz2014]

Sounds yummy :-) 
i found when i did Christmas dinner it helped to write down all the timings on a whiteboard, then put them in order of what time each thing needs to go in :-)