I was deeply saddened on reading this last post of your's Jules, in your case you've lost two lovely soulmates, and potentially a future life many of us dream of doing, and it's all come crashing down, so all that's left is the abyss and emptiness. Life can truly be very cruel sometimes, one second we can see a promising future in front of us, and then it's all wiped in a flash, many of us know that feeling, but in your case it's even more heart breaking.
I remember something my wife Ann said to me the day before she died, She was usually very positive, but during a few hours when we were on our own, she said... You know Brian, life is like a game of Snakes n Ladders, we climb up through our life, and then when we're nearly home and achieve what we want, we hit a snake and go all the way back down again, so we have to restart, but this time love, I don't think I have many throws of the dice left.
She was right of course, but no matter what trials face those of us that's left, somehow we have to rebuild, or in many cases learn to manage what's remaining of our life, and in time our grief too, a task that often seems impossible, but Jules we have to try, as hard as it may seem. An hour at a time, a day at at time, a week at a time.....whatever it takes.
My thoughts are with you Jules, keep posting you will find it helps to talk about things, you are not alone on here.