Replying to Longedge's reply but didn't want to hi-jack Rosaleens post for George so thought I'd share my thoughts on a new thread
I've always found the run up to the day worse than the day, it's kind of like we put so many expectations on the day and in our imaginations imagine what it will be like, no doubt comparing it to the worst day of losing our loved one, but when the day comes it's never quite as bad as I've imagined (to me no aniversary can be worse than the horrid day we lost them).
I found a lovely little phrase the other day, which I think in a way sums up the grief journey a bit. Personally I think we change after losing a loved one - we lose who we were with them aswell as losing our loved one, and have to find a new 'me', (which will always carry the scar, missing our loved ones) - the phrase I found:
May never stop mourning who you used to be, but you can learn to love the person you are becoming
For me, I took from this that we may always miss our loved ones, there will always be that longing we carry with us, but we can also learn to engage with life and learn to accept the altered 'us'. for example, those who have fought their nerves and anxiety and have come along on a meet day, thats a massive achievement which perhaps you would never have done before. Be proud of that and if you believe, know that your loved ones watching over will be really proud
Not sure if that makes sense, but it brought me some comfort xx
