I fully empathise with you Mike, that could have been me writing that, anniversaries can be tough, I was dreading ours 2mths ago which would have been our 49th, and like you I also bought a card and placed it on her casket in the lounge. I did have a small cry but it wasn't as bad as I thought it might have been.
My wife also died from lung cancer (4th April) as you probably know, it is tough to carry on, it really is, because there's been times when I didn't want to do so, and I'm sure you've likely felt the same at times Mike, but we have to try.
It's 7mths for me on 4th November, and I've been trying to get out more, I even paid £59 for 3mths membership on a over 60's dating site last week, but I'm just kidding myself, it's far too early because in reality I'm still grieving, so this morning I deleted everything and cancelled my account.
It's good your children still keep in touch, and AYS Mike having the one son at home may be helping a little too. I think my 2 sons emigrated to another planet after their Mum passed away, my daughter however has been brilliant, so I'll likely be going down to Cornwall for a couple days with them over Xmas.
This past week has been 'a woe is me week', feeling depressed and sorry for myself, I'm usually a very positive and confident type of guy, but not at the moment, but I know I have to keep trying, because I know where the path I'm on is heading.
and you have to do the same.
Hopefully Mike, we can all reach a stage eventually where life becomes bearable again, I wish you strength my friend, and I've likely depressed you more instead of giving you support....sorry Mike.
It's times like this when we have to revert back to..Taking it a day at a time.
You take care Mike, and have a man-hug from me.