Thank you for the kind messages of welcome - I hope that it won't take me long to learn my way round - thank you Karena.
Hubby - it is very interesting to talk to someone who is in my mum's place. I am so sorry to hear about your wife - though I'm sure your daughters understand - it is still early days and your pain is very different from theirs. I do understand what my mum is going through, though it is hard to lose one parent and see the other suffering so much. If anything I found some comfort in protecting my mum, though, because otherwise I am helpless to do anything to make her feel better. I found seeking out other people to be better and spent time with my half-sister (we don't have the same mum) as there is more similarity in how we feel, and my maternal aunt, as there is a bit of separation there. I hope that your daughters were able to do this to.
I did see a counsellor for a short while but then I was accepted onto a summer internship in Exeter and so I moved away for 10 weeks and I haven't seen the counsellor since June. My mum is a member of a different forum, a more specialist one, and I see that it helps her in some ways, being able to speak to other people who know how she feels, so I thought I should try it.
Emz2014 - thank you - I'm not sure if I was supposed to post on both threads but it said to. I am always interested in tips to help with panic and anxiety. Right before we got the diagnosis the doctor prescribed anti-depressants. After the diagnosis I didn't much think they'd help and I was too busy visiting the hospital and caring for dad to worry about me. I had a phone consultation in Janaury and they pretty much said they couldn't deal with it because of dad and I should go through the cancer charities instead.