My husbands brother died earlier this year and he's struggling to deal with it. I have never been bereaved and I struggled to be supportive enough in the beginning. He felt he couldn't come to me and found it easier to talk to other women online.
The talk between him and them got out of hand (overly flirtatious) therefore he deleted them and moved on.
He made friends about 2 months ago with a particular woman, and after a while he shared memories of his brother, her brother was ill and subsequently died so he felt a connection with her. They chatted daily, mostly not about the brother (I checked due to last time). It got to the point where he was spending more time talking to her and removing himself emotionally from me. I was upset he was so into her and that he lied originally to keep her on his Facebook that I told him our marriage was over. He had to stay in the house as we rent and it took 5 days for him to talk to me and open up. He finally cried about his brother with me and I just let him cry it out. The following morning he cried again (never seen him cry in our whole marriage) and I said I didn't know what to say, which he has since thrown back at me.
We're trying to make things work, he's deleted her and we're rebuilding our relationship we've been together 12 years. But after only a few days he's 'missing her' and it's like he's grieving for her and his brother again. I have suggested counselling numerous times, marriage as well as grief but he is adamant he doesn't need it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is how do I fix him/us? He feels guilty that he wasn't there in the end for his brother, it had been 7 years since they last spoke and that was an argument. I just don't know what to do.
If you've got this far thanks 😀