6 months

[BT]

It was 6 months since my mum died yesterday.  I was at work and the day was ok.  Today i went to the cemetery to my mums grave and im feeling tearful tonight with lots of mixed emotions.  Even though the intense rollercoaster i was on in the early days has lessened a bit im still feeling in despair andstill miss her and feel life is unfair.  I also spoke to some relatives that were visiting the cemetery who I haven't seen since the funeral.  They asked if i was ok i tried to put up a cheerful front but i could feel my eyes welling up as i spoke but managed to get the words out and kept the tears at bay. 

[Norma]

Aw hun 6 months is no time at all, you will still have these bad times, grief unfortunately is a rollercoaster but please dont hold back the tears, dont put on a brave face to make others feel comfortable, (((hug))) xxx

 

[BT]

Thankyou Norma, this site brings me comfort at this difficult time.   

[Hubby]

You say you are 'still' feeling despair BT. It sounds as if you, like me, expected the intense grief to have subsided at six months. We know now that it keeps on popping up when we least expect it. I used to think grieving lasted a fortnight or so until the funeral. That is the impression I got from other people who had lost someone because they become so good at hiding their grief.

I'd wager good money that some of those people you were trying to hide your tears from were also hiding their own tears.

[Brian71]

Hubby's comments as usual are quite valid,  I think what he describes is me after almost 7mths, it is a mask we put on,  I'm really trying but god it can be so hard at times.

[BT]

Thankyou hubby and brian